i don’t ONLY care about myself. i care about like 5 other people. and animals.
There’s no other way. It’s like in movies,
how they show us why the bad guy became bad?
It’s to keep us from hating him. It’s to make us understand.
I don’t want to understand anymore because when I understand,
I love you and I don’t want to love you anymore.
I wish I could see you on the street without wanting to throw up
but I can’t look at you without falling half in love with your eyelashes.
I can’t look at you without wishing you were stretching your hand back for mine.
I have to believe that you’re a monster because if I go back to thinking that you’re just lovely and damaged, then I’m done for.
I don’t know if I can still call it love when I’m scared of you.
I don’t know what to do when there is only dark in your eyes.
People will whisper about our love for years to come.
How terrifying it was to be in the same room
with two people so destined to ruin each other.
How completely we ruined each other.
People will whisper about our love for years to come and this is what they will remember:
How brave I was.
How I understood and understood until I couldn’t anymore.
How, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t anymore."
Today’s mental health reminder: a relapse, a sudden series of attacks, a string of awful days, (or whatever your step back may be) does not decrease your value. Take your time, do some self care, reflect on the progress that you have made. You are strong; one step back is nothing when you look at the journey you have already made.